Long time since I wrote last. One update: I’m getting married! In the spirit of pre-wedding beautification, I’ve been considering the future direction of two very important hairlines: my eyebrows. While researching shapes, widths and lengths, i’ve come across some amazingly inspiring pictures. Who would have thought: even in the world of eyebrows there are pioneers, boldly going where no woman, creature or beast has gone before. But the question remains: with all these great styles, how will I ever choose?

#1: Who needs symmetry when you’ve got a Sheriff badge? She uses them to disorient criminals before capturing them. These brows make the streets safer.

#2: The longest eyebrows in the history of faces. They actually used to go all the way around her head before she plucked.

#3: These brows are example of true, natural beauty, and perfectly compliment her lip, which looks like a snake that has recently eaten a medium sized rodent.

#4: Glamour shot! Now that’s attitude – intermingled, obviously, with the extremely heightened eyebrows, with drastic surprise. It’s like she was getting ready to pose for vogue and was suddenly slapped across the face with someone’s, as Lady Gaga put it, disco stick.

#5: You can tell by her expression that she’s really serious about life… maybe even a little… purrrturbed? Furry in training for sure. I bet she’s Yiffing some hot dragon type as we speak.

#6: If Miss Cleo (psycho psychic look), Elizabeth Taylor (old & over-makeupped look), Michael Jackson (slightly dead look) and Sandy from the OC (awesome brows!!) were merged…

#7: She’s so sad!! She looks like those messed up old 80’s toys that cried, and needed comforting. Except instead opening the window and letting her in out of the cold, I want to slam the window shut in her face, close the blinds and hope that the subzero weather sets in quickly.

#8: One thing I’ve learned from this picture is that, as a general rule, your brows should take up less than 50% of your face for optimal effect.

#9: The latest trend: Mood Eyebrows. Left: surprised, slightly turned on. Right: EXTREMELY angry. Unimpressed. Someone feed it NOW.

#10: Scared by the prospect of yet another MySpace angle, the brows escaped into the scene kid hair forever, never to seen again.

#11: It’s a triple threat! These blonde babes love the 3 B’s: Botox, Bleach and Bitchin’ brows.

#12: Daaaayum. They’re like smooshed caterpillars. This is a great style for people who want to look threatening, all the time.

#13: Fact: when rocking the bald look, one should compensate with maximum amount of hair on the rest of one’s face.

#14: She underlined her brows for emphasis. Double trouble!

#15: Spray tan + Sharpie  + unsuccessful pout pose = this.

#16: It’s like her face is frowning… twice… it’s wounded.

#17: If Genghis Khan wore tube tops. ME WANT JONAS BROTHERS!

#18: If you wax your brows entirely off by mistake, there’s always felt.

#19: Super villain brows. A good style if you want people to refer to your look as “dastardly”.

#20: Boomerang brows.

#21: The Hitler ’stache brow line. Or the Chaplin.

#22: Who says sharpie’s aren’t a beauty accessory?

#23: Sad puppy says: What you talkin’ about, Willis?

#24: She’s got Mange of the face. And that makes her UNIMPRESSED.

#25: Times new roman font brow.

#26: How to save money during the recession: one black pencil, all over the face. I like what she’s done here in all seriousness: it’s like she’s wearing a hair-tiara.

#27: There’s got to be a solution for this. Gel? Hairspray? Do they sell eyebrow combs (someone could make a lot of money).

#28: Barbed wire brow = tough AND sassy.

#29: Face games: Connect the dots.

#30: Don’t forget to eat your leafy greens. And if you do usually forget, draw them on your face as a reminder.

#31: She has great eye makeup. She looks like an alien. But her shirt is okay (compliment sandwich).

#32: For some reason, she reminds me of Geordi Laforge.

#33: Terrifying. Brow style: The devil’s mistress.

Fashion faux pas: Brows should not exceed the size of eyes. But that’s just the first in a series of problems here.

Now that we’ve seen a bunch of examples…. any votes for best style?